Becoming Careless


It hasn’t gotten much better lately. I had two nights of actual good sleep, and a day where I seemed to eat more than lately. I still hate school, and being mauled over by kids. I think what I hate most about school is that there is really no one that I talk to at all there. Plus the fact that I have to be there forever. As for coming home, I still sit forever in my room and try to think of an excuse to find somewhere to go, even if that means going to Target to buy an item and later find out its defective. I still don’t have my car fixed, and that is aggravating because that leads me to use my moms car and my dads truck. I honestly don’t care where I go as long as it gets my mind off of school and the nothing-ness at home. Being boarded up in my room forever sucks, it’s not like I’m forced to but what else is there to do? Oh, I also found that my weight has dropped 7 lbs, which, for the average person might be a good thing. For me though? Not a good thing. I really don’t want to be underweight as much as I don’t want to be overweight. Even after finding my weight drop this low, I couldn’t eat much today. I had pizza and felt sick, then I ate a few chips. Nothing dramatic that’s going to boost my weight back to normal. The few things that keep me sane right now? Reading an obnoxious amount of books, [which I never used to do] and Sarah A. Haven’t broke my hand yet. Although my ring? That was a close one. I’m currently reading Beautiful Creatures by; Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. I am positive I will finish it this week and die for the next week waiting for book club so I can get Beautiful Darkness. Maybe I just have a temper problem, or maybe it’s something else entirely. Most people don’t realize how hot-headed I can get, and how quickly. Not a lot of things make me mad but lordy ask KayLee or my brothers and they might tell you I’m insane. On the becoming careless note, I really could care less if I’m late for class, I could care less about trying to eat, and I could truly care less about doing my homework. I would really like to just sit here and not do a thing. Basically I am just going to put up a ridiculous wall and see who plans on tearing it down. If even piece by piece, you’re trying, you’re noticing, you’re caring. My mask must be fairly good and it must just be my Twitter and this that tips people off because other than that, it doesn’t seem that they notice.


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